Characters

The character notes form our last brainstorming session:

Bridget Pauline
(Waitress Detective)

Appearance:
20ish
Attractive but not stand out

Personality:
Genuinely Warm and Friendly
Guarded about personal life and history
Subtle

Flaws:
Low Self-esteem
Freezes up when she is outside of here comfort zone.

---

Joseph Murphy
(Detective)

Appearance:
30ish
Handsome clean shaven
Sharply dressed (G-man like)

Personality:
Proud of his accomplishment
Kind
Organized and meticulous

Flaws:
Slighly cocky
By the rules.

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Vic
(cook)
Messy
Gruff

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Watress 2

Appearance:
Blond
Barbie Doll
Young
Chews gum

Personality:
Bubbly and Flirty

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Busboy
Oriental
Doesn’t speak
Probably has degrees in philosophy, business and theoretical physics for all we know.

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The Partner
Corrupt but generally good guy
Family man
Mob ties
Weak willed

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The Captain
Crooked and Slimy

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The Mayor
Based on historical mayor
Out to save his own skin.
Political

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Priest
(no data yet)

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Old partner
Nearing retirement
Beat cop
Street wise but not book smart

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Twin cops
(no data)
Probably comic relief

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Reginald
Diner Regular
Knows it all and been everywhere
Bum in nice clothing (top hat?)

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The owner
Never seen.
Bridget talks about him in conversation
May be fictions.

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The Diner
Medum size diner

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The District
Irish/Italian border district
Total districts+1

From Tanya

The scene that immediately came to my mind was a "sleeper scene" - either a break from a current story line, or a scene in between major story lines. There's actually no interactive dialogue, and the scene could easily be done "silent".

We see our waitress/detective going from table to table, jotting down orders in her notebook - just another routine day. She heads home and flips through her order notebook one last time before bed. The final panel focuses on the notebook and reveals a page full of crime notes, clues and questions rather than orders.

That's what I've got. I'm not much for writing detective stories. *laughs*


t

Character Sketches

I was doodling while we cast last time.. nothing fancy.. just ideas. You can see how I personally start off-- with a basic idea, then write lots of notes to myself. The colors are of course, all wrong. I envision something much more dour than red and black pen. Some sepia... good old fashioned dirt colors would be nice.

-Aggie

Test Scenes

From Drowemos

So here is my take on our little story. These are just some random scene that popped into my head. One interesting thing for me is that when I started writing this I found that the story was more about the romance than the mystery. It was the interaction between the character that grabbed me. Particularly it was how the Detective would react when he figured out he was being played.

Now it is my method to start at the beginning and then jump to the end. I like to know where I am going when I write. Often it the process of writing I throw out my ending and beginning but having a starting point and ending point nails it down for me. Even if ultimately they are not used.

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Scene 1

You see a picture of a murdered man. Underneath the picture are a number of other documents and pictures all laid out on a dinner table. Off to the side sits a notebook with the words “Possible Robbery” written on it. A nearly empty coffee cup is place on opposite side of the documents from the notebook and next to the coffee cup a thick rough hand taps a pencil on the table in frustration.

The scene then widens to show a square jawed detective (Jack Richman) sitting at a dinner table considering the pictures. He is smartly dressed but there is a bit too much muscle on him for his suit the fabric straining to fit his shoulders. As the detective the detective considers his work a slim waitress (Rose Coleridge) with jet black hair cut in a plain strait Eton Crop walks up to him with a pot of coffee.

ROSE
Fresh’n your cup?

JACK
Mnh… sure.

The waitress glances at the detectives work and smiles sweetly in admiration. The Detective looks up at her in confusion at her apparent appreciation of a murder scene.

ROSE
Oh, that’s pretty.

JACK
Hun? It’s a picture of a murder scene.

ROSE
Oh, yea. I was just talking about his watch.

Refilling the Detective’s cup with one hand the Waitress leans over the table and point to one of the pictures with her free hand.

ROSE
You see here. It’s one of those Rolexes Ambassadors. The boss was saying the other day he’d kill for one of those. They’re worth a fortune.

The Waitress walks away as the Detective takes a sip of the coffee looking deep in thought.

ROSE
Well give me a holler if you need anything.

The Detective puts the cup down and scribbles something on his note pad.

You then get a closes up look of the note pad. The words “Possible Robbery” have been crossed out and the words “Murder made to look like robbery” have been written underneath

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Scene 2

Again the Detective sits at his both papers spread out on the table. He has been talking to the Waitress who is leaning against the edge of the booth. In a moment of realization the Detective pick up a crucial photo looking at it in detail.

JACK
So that mean my man is going to the governor ball. A man with a vertical slit down the sole of his left shoe.

Jack puts down the photo and ponders the how to get to the ball.

JACK
Hmmm. I could probably go undercover you know. But if I go stag I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. I don’t…

The Waitress takes a step backwards in joyful shock. She interrupts the Detectives speech with a gasp.

ROSE
Gasp!

Before the Detective can say anything else she leans forward and takes his hand. Teary eyed with joy.

ROSE
Matt. Yes! Of course I’ll go with you.

JACK
No I mean…

The Waitress runs off paying no attention to what the Detective is saying.

ROSE
Oh my. Imagine me going to a fancy ball. I’ll call the boss and ask for the night off right now.

JACK
Rose...

Alone in his booth the Detective puts his head in his hands.

JACK
Nuts

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Scene 3

The Detective has come to pick up Rose for their “Date”. He is wearing a rented tux that actually accommodates his build. Rose is talking to him from the other room as he waits in the front room. The room looks like a library run by insane packrats. There are plies of books and papers on every surface cluttering every space. A scruffy looking black cat looks suspiciously down at the detective from one of the tall stacks. The Detective is obviously feeling out of his element as he tries to persuade the Waitress not to come with him.

JACK
Rose I really don’t’ think this is a good idea. It could be dangerous.

ROSE(OFF PANEL)
Oh don’t be silly. I’ll have you there to protect me. I couldn’t be safer.

Rose walks into the room. She is wearing a long gown that has vertical cut across the top. Uncharacteristically she has makeup on and her hair has been curled. The Detective takes a look at her and stop mid sentence.

JACK
Still I…

Rose looks at him confused not understanding why he suddenly went silent.

ROSE
What?

The Detective explains himself, awe in his voice. The Waitress blushes and looks away not used to complements. The games and manipulations drop away and the two share an honest and intimate moment.

JACK
You look beautiful.

ROSE
Oh.

The two stand in silence for a moment not wanting to look at each other.

Jack breaks the silence trying to pursue his previous argument. Rose just ignores him and pulls him out the door by the lapel of his jacket.

JACK
Still I don’t think it’s a good idea for…

ROSE
Jack don’t spoil the moment will ya?

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Scene 4

The Waitress leans on the lunch counter of the Dinner. She is reading a newspaper with a smile of satisfaction on her face.

The Detective walks into the dinner looking grim and determined and sits down across from the Waitress. With a smile the Waitress holds up the newspaper showing the Detective shaking the hands of the mayor. The headline says serial killer caught.

ROSE
Hi Jack. Saw your picture in the paper. Impressive.

The Detective takes out a medal of honor and puts it on the table. He looks at the Waitress with a steely look as he talks.

JACK
Yep. Even got a medal.

ROSE
Wow.

JACK
Yea. The thing is I didn’t earn it did I?

The Waitress looks at the Detective with confusion. He steely look is slowly changing to anger.

ROSE
What do you mean?

JACK
You must think I’m pretty dumb don’t you. You just “happen” to give me the right advice at the right time. You just “happen” to show up everywhere the clues of the case lead. You just “happen” to lead me around to solve the case. A lot of things “happen” around you Rose.

The Waitress tries to touch the Detective’s hand but he pulls it away from her. The Waitress looks on the edge of tears but the Detective is unmoved his gaze hard and unforgiving.

ROSE
Jack I…

JACK
So what? Do you think you’re a guardian angel? Helping dumb old Jack Richman because lord knows he can’t do things himself.

ROSE
No.

JACK
Tell me one thing. When you just “happened” to miss understand about the ball. Did you go because you wanted to go or solve a crime?

ROSE
Can’t it be both?

The Detective stands up pounding the medal violently down on the counter.

JACK
No. It can’t.

The detective storms out of the dinner leaving the Waitress alone.

JACK
Enjoy your metal Rose. You earned it. You got your man.

The Waitress considers the medal with a sad look.

ROSE
No I didn’t.

---

Scene 5 page 1

The scene opens with a shot of the Waitress in the Dinner late at night, busing a table after a long day.

NARRATION
One week later

The door to Dinner opens and the Detective walks in a businesslike manner. He is carrying a folder underneath his arm. The Waitress looks at the Detective with a mixture of shock and pleasure.

ROSE
Jack?

JACK
Evening Rose. A cup of coffee if you would and keep them coming

The Detective sits down unceremoniously in a booth. The Waitress comes walks over to the Detective with a pleading look on her face but the Detective meat her gaze without emotion and lifts his cup to indicate he wants some coffee.

ROSE
Jack maybe we could talk about things.

JACK
Just here for the coffee, not the conversation.

The Detective opens up his folder and spread a case file on the table. The Watress looks at him confused and he smiles a smug smile back at her.

ROSE
What are you doing?

JACK
Same thing I always do. Reviewing a case. A real tricky one. Coffee please.

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Scene 5 page 2

Three panels showing the Waitress filling the Detective’s cup. As she poor the cup she glance nervously at the Detective and the papers on the table.

The Waitress finally snaps yelling at the Detective.

ROSE
Oh for the love of God! He’s not dead. He faked his own death to avoid the gambling debts he accumulated with the mob or some such. You can see here on the bank records he has been paying out large and larger amounts every month to a dry-cleaning service. Why would you’re dry-cleaning bill increase every month? The body is that of some field worker. The redskin on the back of the neck is not from the fire its sunburn he’s a red neck get it. This so call affair the wife seemed to be having is with her husband. They set up the whole affair thing so that there would be no question about her remarrying so soon after the death.

Defiantly the Waitress crosses her arm in front of her chest and glares at the Detective. As she does the Detective calmly takes a sip of coffee.

ROSE
You can find you man by just waiting a following the wife but what you really should do is investigate this dry-cleaning company. They launder more than just clothes it seems.

ROSE
Are you happy now?

JACK
Yes. Yes I am.

Welcome

Welcome the brainstorming blog. This blog is created in conjunction with the Webcomic Beacon as part of their monthly Brainstorming Sessions. This area will be used for participant to share their thought on story development and characters.